Nacole's Journey

What is your sober date?

My recovery date is November 2010 since then I have done so much work to rebuild my life and build the trust from my family since I’ve let them down numerous times. I would get blamed for stealing or using even though I was sober. But the past 3 years my family can finally trust me.

How did addiction keep you from living your best life?

Addiction ruined me by living my best life. I got addicted at 20 years old I had a 2 years old and 6 month old and I chose drugs over being there mom. I lost everything my apartment, my kids, my 20’s I missed going to college to get a better degree in life.

What and who guided you toward an addiction free journey?

No one guided me towards a drug free life. I had to want it. My family put me in multiple rehabs, dcfs made me go to rehab but I wasn’t ready because people was forcing me but you have to want it yourself without being forced. I finally reached rock bottom. I had nowhere to go, I lost my kids to the state, I ponded anything valuable I was so sick of waking up sick and counting down the minutes until the Mexicans started selling one day I just walked in the ER begging for help. I was don’t just done. I withdrawaled for 3 weeks it was the worse experience ever. The hot sweats, cold sweats, puking, shaking Evil thoughts of killing my self because I couldn’t handle the withdrawal but I forced my way through it. I quit talking to people I used with I erased my dealers number I switched my phone number so I had no temptation to use.

What plan and steps did you take to get out of addiction?

I knew it was time to take action when I found out I was pregnant, I already lost 2 kids I wasn’t going to loose another. I went to the doctor was referred to the methadone clinic from the day forward I didn’t touch it again especially watching my new born withdrawal from the methadone.

When did you decide it was time to take action?

If I didn’t take the actions I did to get clean I would have lost my angel son that changed my life for the best. I wouldn’t have a roof over my head I wouldn’t have a job that I have been with for 5 years now. I’m a single mom with 3 boys that live with me. The other 2 that was taken by dcfs they are still in my life and visit but I can see the pain in their eyes knowing I Gave up drugs for the kids I live with but why didn’t I choose my other 2 kids over drugs. Addiction is hard once addicted you can’t just say the next day I’m not using with withdrawal is so painful and after my kids was taken I feel into a deeper depression that I used to cover the pain instead of stopping drugs and fighting for my kids the devil disease won it took 10 years of my life away from my older kids and I. I was also going to die if I didn’t quit. I overdosed atleast 10 times the one time my mom found me blue she was told by the ambulance that I was gone but some miracle I came back. I was sick of living drug house to drug house. Stealing to pond stuff for money and stealing from family and selling anything that had value.

What was at stake for you if you didn’t take these actions to get sober?

If someone was in my situation and wanted to get clean I would say reach out to someone that’s been there listen to how the drugs ruined not only their life but families life. Go get on methadone then get off that once your strong and have the willpower to say no I’m done and I don’t want it.
10 years later I can look back and see what I did to hurt myself as well as my family. I was a zombie before my kids got taken away my 2 year old would open the fridge and eat anything he could find. He gave up waiting for me to feed him because I was to busy getting high or sleeping. My 6 month old laid in his crib with a bottle propped up by a blanket to feed him his bottle because again I was too busy getting High or sleeping. I’m thankful my kids got taken away I couldn’t even take care of myself let alone kids. But now that I’m sober I own a home, I own a brand new vehicle. I have 5 beautiful boys that give me a reason to keep going. I work 50 hours a week to make sure my kids are taken care of. I made it I found the disease, I fought the devil and I will never ever touch another drug in my life. I will educate my kids and let them know the dangers. I was to work with drug attics that’s my dream job and I hope someday I can. My name is nikky I’m 35 years old sober since 25 years old. I went from nothing to everything. If I can do it anyone can. If you have and follow up questions please let me know.

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