What is your Sober Date? Tell us a short paragraph on how you are living your best life now post addiction and recovery?
I actually don’t remember the exact day that I woke up sober. It has worked better for me not to keep track.
It has been a long, tiring, and sometimes trying journey. But by being sober I am able to wake up with no pain, no planning by day around getting high, and no worry of where and who I can buy from. I don’t have to lie to my family and S/O about where I’m at and why I may need to borrow money. I can go through the day with a clear mind and a clear conscience.
How did addiction keep you from living your best life?
I would lie to the people I love and kept them at a distance. I’d be in so much pain that I wasn’t able to do my job to the best of my abilities. I put myself in risky situations and deal with shady people.
What and who guided you toward an addiction free journey?
From a young age my dad would constantly tell me to live a good life. Do good things and good things will happen to you. And when you do drugs you are not in control. Those words instilled a desire to be the best person I could be.
What plan and steps did you take to get out of addiction?
One day I posted about my addiction on an anonymous app and someone suggested I go to where they worked if I would like help. When I think back to this moment in life, I cant help but tear up. I walked into the wrong door, right where all the counselors were seated to eat lunch. They stopped and looked at me and said something along the lines of, “Did you need something?” I nodded. “Did you need help?” I nodded and started crying. So, my first step in physically fighting my addiction was going to a methadone clinic. I didn’t know what to expect or what to even say. I met with a counselor and after a couple of days I got started on Subutex.
When did you decide it was time to take action?
Everything started to collapse and I was incredibly exhausted with keeping up the appearance of being fine.
What was at stake for you if you didn't take these actions to get sober?
I was risking my job, the relationship with my family, and my sanity. I would add in my relationship with my S/O but it was toxic even if the drugs weren’t a factor.
For someone in the same situation as you were who wants to get clean, what would you want to tell them?
Because of how I grew up and the people I was around I was never the one to show my emotions but the front that put on for all those years was making me sick. By not dealing with the reality of things and covering it up made this whole thing much, much worse. It’s ok to show and tell people the way you’re feeling. It’s okay not to be okay.
My name is Nicole Dressler, 24, and I am a proud and strong Native American woman in recovery.
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